He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
I’d like to explain why it is that, though I trust God’s provision for a wife, I can live with the prospect of not finding my soul mate and remaining single. It boils down to two things: 1) I’m acutely aware of the brevity of life. God put our limit at 120 years[1], though most of us will fall within the 60 - 80 yr. range.[2] But what’s 80-100 years or more? A mere drop in the limitless ocean of eternity! It really puts things in perspective when you realize how short life is relative to eternity. I know it may be difficult to grasp this idea in the midst of our busy, rich, event-filled lives. We may have school, work, family and other obligations demanding our time that we find it difficult to “stop and smell the roses”. But consider those cherished, poetic, idyllic moments in life that we wish would last, or that wistful longing for times past. The song "auld lang syne" which means "times gone by" or "long, long ago" reflects this yearning for the "good old days" and good times since long gone. From pyramids to polaroids, from princes to paupers, we see this universal desire to encapsulate, capture, and prolong that particularly pastoral, picturesque and poetic present. And the very act of wishing for the present to last longer than we know it will, or the wistful reflection on times past, and feeling sadness in either case is evidence of how, "He has...set eternity in the hearts of men..."[3]. This is best reflected in the aged and more mature among us. My grandmother celebrated her 85th birthday this year, and I had asked her what she thought about her life and how it’s gone. She responded, “Mabilis ang araw”, which means, “Fast is the day”, or in our vernacular, “time flies”. And indeed, time flies, so it would behoove, “…us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”[4] If we did, I think we’d give more thought to our actions in this life, understanding that, “What we do in life, echoes in eternity.”[5] And 2) did you realize that marriage is only for this present age? In Heaven, there is no marriage: “Jesus replied, “Marriage is for people here on earth. But in the age to come, those worthy of being raised from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage.”[6] As a matter of fact, our relationships will be that of siblings where Jesus is, “…the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”[7] Not only is Jesus the “firstborn” among us in God’s family (as if that’s not enough to blow your mind), but imagine being a brother or sister to Adam, Moses, David, Mary, and myriad others; that even our relatives, great, great, great, (as far back as you can go) grandfathers, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.; those who may have gone before us, and who are to come after us, insofar as they are “in Christ Jesus”[8], comprise that “great cloud of witnesses”[9] by which we are surrounded even now (truly “All the world’s a stage”[10]) – they are all our brothers and sisters in Heaven! Does that not blow your mind?! This explains, to some extent, my intent to be a catholic priest early in my Christian walk. Growing up Roman Catholic, and desiring to serve God upon my spirit’s re-animation, the seemingly logical choice (as if logic has anything to do with spiritual matters) was to enter the seminary and become a priest. So, I resigned myself at 17, to a life of celibacy (a resignation in which I've been less than resolute), understanding the brevity of life and of how the best was yet to come. I have a friend,” strong in the force”[11], a Jedi in handling this “sword of the Spirit”[12], who, in regards to what it would be like in Heaven, remarked, “ Heaven’s going to be better than sex.” Make of that what you will, but it’s an enlightened self-interest, or a “Christian Hedonism”[13] that motivates, inspires and animates many of us who seek, serve and wait on God.[14] Besides life is too short to be with someone other than your soul mate. I would hate it if my marriage were proof that it’s “…better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”[15] Life would be more lacking, I think, than remaining single.
"...all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever." (1Jn.2:16,17 NKJ)
"These...confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth...they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them." (Heb.11:13,16 NKJ) "...for you are strangers and sojourners with Me."(Lev.25:23 NKJ)
“And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.” (The Last Battle, C.S. Lewis)
Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. (Lewis, C. S. The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses.)
“We want more than this world’s got to offer” (Meant to Live, Switchfoot)
[1] Genesis 6:3
[2] Psalm 90:10
[3] Ecclesiastes 3:11
[4] Psalm 90:12
[5] Maximus, Gladiator
[6] Luke 20:34-35 NLT
[7] Romans 8:29
[8] Ephesians 2:6
[9] Hebrews 12:1
[10] “As You Like It”, Shakespeare
[11] Star Wars, 1977
[12] Ephesians 6:17
[13] Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist, John Piper
[14] Deuteronomy 30:19
[15] Proverbs 21:9
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